Good:
-Got an email from a prof asking if I'd like to work with him on a meta-analysis on mercury and some other stuff. The specific topic is super interesting for me (being a little coy on here on the details so we don't get scooped...) and I'm totally stoked and flattered he thought to email me. This could be an awesome experience / might easily turn into my first paper.
-Cell phone broke. Yes, this sucks, especially because the light's blinking and it says I got 3 texts (but from whom, or concerning what, I will never know), but the phone broke *under warranty*. They're going to replace my phone not with the same phone, but with another model I asked if I could get instead. The replacement phone emits a LOT less radiation (according to something I read by Environmental Working Group) so I will be cutting my future exposure by a lot, for free.
Bad:
-Cut my finger peeling carrots. Again. This is the 3rd time with this peeler. I'm starting to think it's me.
-I think the heater isn't working for my apartment, and it's snowing outside. I'm wearing clothes, ski socks, a dive parka, two blankets, and have my overheating laptop sitting on top, but I'm still freezing. I emailed my landlady but who knows when she'll respond.
-Running low on groceries and my car's locked in a garage at school. My friend Kari drove by the garage this morning to drop me off at my car, but it was all locked up, so she drove me home instead. I guess this means I'll be eating canned soup tomorrow. On a plus side, my friend Kathleen lives in the same apartment building as me and says she'll drive me to school on Monday.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friends of Mine
I had a super fun Friday and it almost convinced me I might start liking Baltimore. Whaaa?
I clocked out a little before 4 and took a cab downtown to see A Single Man with some of my gay friends, spearheaded by my friend John. John is an environmental chemist I met by Facebook stalking after reading his bio on an EPA website last year (his project caught my eye and so I sent him a "wow, your stuff sounds amazing" fb message, and it took off from there). He studies environmental chemistry, specifically how to destroy agricultural pollution once it's gotten into the environment. We have kind of an older/younger sibling dynamic and it's nice to have a "gay older brother" type friend who can give me tips on surviving here, and who introduces me to gay guys who he thinks are quality (I am generally not as enthusiastic about them as he is, but they're definitely a step up from the randos you'd find in the local bars). It's also nice to have a circle of friends from outside school to hang out with. My early social life in Baltimore consisted almost entirely of board game nights at John's house.
The "Single Man" outing was organized by John and included his boyfriend, his roommate, and a guy they're clearly trying to set me up with. The guy just graduated from Hopkins undergrad focusing on Public Health, and is now doing nonprofit/think tank work on Health Policy Economics. This is the second thing John's invited both of us to this week; the first was a double-date ish dinner with John and Mark. I don't think there's any interest on either side (there *definitely* is no interest from me in him), but it's sort of sweet of John to try to play matchmaker. Sort of sweet and sort of annoying. Oh well.
After the movies with John et al., I went out to sushi with some of my Epidemiology department friends. The sushi bar was very hip and played dance hall music (techno, R&B) while serving pretty awesome sushi and pretty cheap liquor. I had a cosmo, two kirins, sake, and I think that's all but I kind of don't remember. I was pretty hammered. Then we went out and bar-hopped some more, and at one point I added "strawberry margarita" to the list. I vaguely remember dancing with strangers (girls) in the second bar, who had been sitting at the bar until I was like "Hey come dance with me!" This bar was not a dancing venue; we were basically the only ones dancing, and I fell a couple times (and broke my phone, unfortunately). Then we all went back to Kari's house and watched extreme winter sports (snowmobile flip things, snowboarding, skiing) on TV until people left. I was way too drunk to go anywhere so I crashed here for the night. I'm still waiting for Kari to wake up, but surprisingly I don't have a hangover. I think it was the Shirley Temple I had in the last bar?
So...yeah. Kind of a ridiculously fun night, and in Baltimore of all places. Unfortunately, it was with friends who will all be gone soon. John's finishing his PhD this year, and the kids I went out for sushi/drinks with are all Masters students who will finish next year.
My friends who are going to be here longer-term with me fall into two groups: government-employed friends in DC, and friends in PhD programs at Hopkins. I don't know what I'm going to do after next year when my friends disperse. I think DC would make me a lot happier than Baltimore, but the commute is almost an hour each way (maybe less if I take a train + bus) and I don't know how long my friends in DC who aren't in government jobs plan to stay in their current careers. It would suck to move out to DC and have all my best friends (who tend to have shorter-term/internship jobs in nonprofits) leave shortly afterward. Maybe I should just suck it up and move to DC while my good friends are still there and can introduce me to people.
I clocked out a little before 4 and took a cab downtown to see A Single Man with some of my gay friends, spearheaded by my friend John. John is an environmental chemist I met by Facebook stalking after reading his bio on an EPA website last year (his project caught my eye and so I sent him a "wow, your stuff sounds amazing" fb message, and it took off from there). He studies environmental chemistry, specifically how to destroy agricultural pollution once it's gotten into the environment. We have kind of an older/younger sibling dynamic and it's nice to have a "gay older brother" type friend who can give me tips on surviving here, and who introduces me to gay guys who he thinks are quality (I am generally not as enthusiastic about them as he is, but they're definitely a step up from the randos you'd find in the local bars). It's also nice to have a circle of friends from outside school to hang out with. My early social life in Baltimore consisted almost entirely of board game nights at John's house.
The "Single Man" outing was organized by John and included his boyfriend, his roommate, and a guy they're clearly trying to set me up with. The guy just graduated from Hopkins undergrad focusing on Public Health, and is now doing nonprofit/think tank work on Health Policy Economics. This is the second thing John's invited both of us to this week; the first was a double-date ish dinner with John and Mark. I don't think there's any interest on either side (there *definitely* is no interest from me in him), but it's sort of sweet of John to try to play matchmaker. Sort of sweet and sort of annoying. Oh well.
After the movies with John et al., I went out to sushi with some of my Epidemiology department friends. The sushi bar was very hip and played dance hall music (techno, R&B) while serving pretty awesome sushi and pretty cheap liquor. I had a cosmo, two kirins, sake, and I think that's all but I kind of don't remember. I was pretty hammered. Then we went out and bar-hopped some more, and at one point I added "strawberry margarita" to the list. I vaguely remember dancing with strangers (girls) in the second bar, who had been sitting at the bar until I was like "Hey come dance with me!" This bar was not a dancing venue; we were basically the only ones dancing, and I fell a couple times (and broke my phone, unfortunately). Then we all went back to Kari's house and watched extreme winter sports (snowmobile flip things, snowboarding, skiing) on TV until people left. I was way too drunk to go anywhere so I crashed here for the night. I'm still waiting for Kari to wake up, but surprisingly I don't have a hangover. I think it was the Shirley Temple I had in the last bar?
So...yeah. Kind of a ridiculously fun night, and in Baltimore of all places. Unfortunately, it was with friends who will all be gone soon. John's finishing his PhD this year, and the kids I went out for sushi/drinks with are all Masters students who will finish next year.
My friends who are going to be here longer-term with me fall into two groups: government-employed friends in DC, and friends in PhD programs at Hopkins. I don't know what I'm going to do after next year when my friends disperse. I think DC would make me a lot happier than Baltimore, but the commute is almost an hour each way (maybe less if I take a train + bus) and I don't know how long my friends in DC who aren't in government jobs plan to stay in their current careers. It would suck to move out to DC and have all my best friends (who tend to have shorter-term/internship jobs in nonprofits) leave shortly afterward. Maybe I should just suck it up and move to DC while my good friends are still there and can introduce me to people.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Not Sure What To Title This So I'll Go With A "!"
Wow, this quarter got hard fast. Profs are dropping terms like "polytomous logistic regression" and "occult coronary and carotid stenosis" like I've ever heard them before or should guess what they mean. To say that I'm feeling a little bit lost and overwhelmed right now would be a pretty big understatement.
Still, I'm grateful for the challenge. Though I am going to have to work unusually hard this quarter just to get by, I feel like at the end of it I'll be much, much closer to being a legit epidemiologist, and that's what I came here for, right?
In other news, I found out I am going to be renewed on my training grant next year unless I flunk out. This means I have another year before I'm responsible for securing my own external funding. That's really good news, because not only does it mean I can eat next year, but it means I only have to find funding for 3 years. The Environmental Protection Agency's "Science to Achieve Results" grant provides financial support for 3 years. So if I can land it for the years after next, that will mean I'm totally set for the (average) 5 years of my program. Awesome? Awesome.
Still, I'm grateful for the challenge. Though I am going to have to work unusually hard this quarter just to get by, I feel like at the end of it I'll be much, much closer to being a legit epidemiologist, and that's what I came here for, right?
In other news, I found out I am going to be renewed on my training grant next year unless I flunk out. This means I have another year before I'm responsible for securing my own external funding. That's really good news, because not only does it mean I can eat next year, but it means I only have to find funding for 3 years. The Environmental Protection Agency's "Science to Achieve Results" grant provides financial support for 3 years. So if I can land it for the years after next, that will mean I'm totally set for the (average) 5 years of my program. Awesome? Awesome.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Some Disappointment, Some Relief
A couple things ended disappointingly today. The Washington Post wrote me back saying that they were not going to publish my op ed. I checked in with my friend Philip and it turns out he's going to be too busy during his trip to DC to hang out at all. My class schedule is relentless and my back is killing me from the almost-constant sitting over the past two days (even with hot yoga yesterday afternoon, my back still hurts).
But there are some major silver linings today, too. Emily says that my ideas went over really well at Al Gore's nonprofit (and some other affiliated environmental groups), and that now it seems like the Alliance for Climate Protection is going to act on a lot of my suggestions. Rick Warren's secretary called me back and encouraged me to send an email, so maybe I'll have a chance to make an impact on the Religious Right after all. I *loved* my Molecular Epidemiology class today and it reminded me why I am putting up with Baltimore. I got on a couple professors' calendars to get advice and give updates about my research projects. And in what was probably the biggest boost to how I felt today, I found out that something that had been worrying me a lot the past few days was pretty much just in my head.
So yeah. Kind of all over today. Averages out to pretty calm.
But there are some major silver linings today, too. Emily says that my ideas went over really well at Al Gore's nonprofit (and some other affiliated environmental groups), and that now it seems like the Alliance for Climate Protection is going to act on a lot of my suggestions. Rick Warren's secretary called me back and encouraged me to send an email, so maybe I'll have a chance to make an impact on the Religious Right after all. I *loved* my Molecular Epidemiology class today and it reminded me why I am putting up with Baltimore. I got on a couple professors' calendars to get advice and give updates about my research projects. And in what was probably the biggest boost to how I felt today, I found out that something that had been worrying me a lot the past few days was pretty much just in my head.
So yeah. Kind of all over today. Averages out to pretty calm.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Roses are delicious.
I had the most delicious cupcake of my life the other day. Well, the cupcake was alright, but the frosting was the most delicious frosting of my life. It was a cardamom-rose vegan cupcake, and it was delicious for fifteen minutes after I had finished it.
This got me thinking: rose is amazing.
So I'm going to try experimenting with rose more in my cooking.
I think my next culinary project will be (vegan) rose ravioli. I'm thinking a filling of mushrooms, cinnamon, a tiny bit of dried ginger, a tiny bit of rosemary, lots of lemon, a tiny bit of spinach, a little vanilla for richness, and tons of rose petals. I'm not sure what sauce yet to try. Maybe just something simple like olive oil and lemon juice, with pine nuts on top.
Other dishes where rose could be delicious: sushi rolls, muffins, crepes, as a side sauteed with mushrooms (okay that's just cheating from the ravioli idea), homemade apple sauce, chutney, and yogurt (if I start having farmers' market dairy again).
This got me thinking: rose is amazing.
So I'm going to try experimenting with rose more in my cooking.
I think my next culinary project will be (vegan) rose ravioli. I'm thinking a filling of mushrooms, cinnamon, a tiny bit of dried ginger, a tiny bit of rosemary, lots of lemon, a tiny bit of spinach, a little vanilla for richness, and tons of rose petals. I'm not sure what sauce yet to try. Maybe just something simple like olive oil and lemon juice, with pine nuts on top.
Other dishes where rose could be delicious: sushi rolls, muffins, crepes, as a side sauteed with mushrooms (okay that's just cheating from the ravioli idea), homemade apple sauce, chutney, and yogurt (if I start having farmers' market dairy again).
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Goodbye, California
Tonight's my last night in California, and I really am going to miss it. Even though I was home for a solid month, it really feels like I just got here. I can't believe I'll be in class again in three days. SO surreal.
I did not have much time to rest this break, but it was still great. I went running outside for the first time in months. I went to the beach and saw breaking waves. I caught up with old friends, including one very old friend who I'm extremely happy is back in my life. I started enjoying hot yoga, and went at least once almost every day. I'm now so much more flexible than when I arrived in CA it's ridiculous, and the instructors at the studio now know me by name. I also took the plunge and went vegan (22 days and counting), which I know will be much harder to maintain in Baltimore in the winter.
I wonder what returning to Baltimore will be like after this respite. There will be jet lag, of course, and the shock of having to take care of things like groceries. But what about bigger differences? Will I be able to keep up veganism on the East Coast? Can I afford a regular membership at a yoga studio? Will I keep working out every day? Or were these changes just part of my vacation?
I don't feel ready for 3rd quarter to start. Unlike previous terms, I'm now more nervous than excited about my schedule. I have four classes I am required to take and a fifth class that's "helpful" for my dissertation (Molecular Epidemiology) and therefore encouraged to take first year, plus the arsenic research project I started last quarter. I got essentially nothing done on the arsenic project over the break, but my boss was really understanding. I thought she would flip out that I had been a flake over vacation and then been too incompetent to make up for the lost time, but she was very nice about it, and I think it will be fine. As Julian of Norwich says, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." It's even possible that I might start getting paid for the arsenic work next quarter, which would be AWESOME and would make a yoga membership much more financially doable.
The other thing that's going to start in earnest next quarter is the hunt for my next apartment. I'm going to start scoping out neighborhoods more carefully and figure out whether I really want to stay in Baltimore city (maybe rooming with Andrew in Fells), or move to Silver Spring (a DC suburb) with Tayler and take a longer commute to school, or move to Owings Mills (a quiet Baltimore suburb) and ride the underground railroad directly to work. At this point I'm leaning towards Silver Spring and the proximity to DC, but I should check out the apartment complexes and see if any feel right and are affordable. Jesse sent me a really helpful email describing her apartment hunt there, but I really should go see the places for myself.
That's all for now. The next post will probably be from Baltimore. Goodnight, California! It was nice to see you again!
I did not have much time to rest this break, but it was still great. I went running outside for the first time in months. I went to the beach and saw breaking waves. I caught up with old friends, including one very old friend who I'm extremely happy is back in my life. I started enjoying hot yoga, and went at least once almost every day. I'm now so much more flexible than when I arrived in CA it's ridiculous, and the instructors at the studio now know me by name. I also took the plunge and went vegan (22 days and counting), which I know will be much harder to maintain in Baltimore in the winter.
I wonder what returning to Baltimore will be like after this respite. There will be jet lag, of course, and the shock of having to take care of things like groceries. But what about bigger differences? Will I be able to keep up veganism on the East Coast? Can I afford a regular membership at a yoga studio? Will I keep working out every day? Or were these changes just part of my vacation?
I don't feel ready for 3rd quarter to start. Unlike previous terms, I'm now more nervous than excited about my schedule. I have four classes I am required to take and a fifth class that's "helpful" for my dissertation (Molecular Epidemiology) and therefore encouraged to take first year, plus the arsenic research project I started last quarter. I got essentially nothing done on the arsenic project over the break, but my boss was really understanding. I thought she would flip out that I had been a flake over vacation and then been too incompetent to make up for the lost time, but she was very nice about it, and I think it will be fine. As Julian of Norwich says, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." It's even possible that I might start getting paid for the arsenic work next quarter, which would be AWESOME and would make a yoga membership much more financially doable.
The other thing that's going to start in earnest next quarter is the hunt for my next apartment. I'm going to start scoping out neighborhoods more carefully and figure out whether I really want to stay in Baltimore city (maybe rooming with Andrew in Fells), or move to Silver Spring (a DC suburb) with Tayler and take a longer commute to school, or move to Owings Mills (a quiet Baltimore suburb) and ride the underground railroad directly to work. At this point I'm leaning towards Silver Spring and the proximity to DC, but I should check out the apartment complexes and see if any feel right and are affordable. Jesse sent me a really helpful email describing her apartment hunt there, but I really should go see the places for myself.
That's all for now. The next post will probably be from Baltimore. Goodnight, California! It was nice to see you again!
Making a dent
This has been a discouraging week for me, politically. Between Senator Murkowski's suggested amendment, yesterday's Supreme Court ruling, and a "thanks for writing" email from Focus on the Family with a link to this position statement,
http://www.family.org/sharedassets/correspondence/pdfs/PublicPolicy/Position_Statement-Response_to_the_Global_Warming_Debate.pdf.
it is easy to imagine that environmental reform in this country is on an almost vertically-tilted playing field. Still, I have been making positive changes where I can, and I feel some of these efforts may yet yield fruit.
The Orange County Register is "definitely considering" my letter to the editor explaining the scientific consensus on climate harms. The readership of this right-wing rag has major influence over the national Republican party. I won't sway anyone's political view on cap and trade, but that wasn't the point of this letter. I'm just hoping some high-hitting Republicans will read this and feel inspired to learn more about the science, instead of dismissing it it as "unsettled" or a "UN power grab". If I dampened the "scientific consensus is a liberal lie" drumbeat even for a moment, I will count it as a major personal victory.
Coast Hills Community Church is now "considering" issuing a statement on global warming. I doubt very much that they will go through with it, but they humored me while I was here, and I think they will at least bring it up at their Board of Elders meeting. If Coast Hills takes on climate change, it's likely that other mega-churches in the area (Mariners, Saddleback) with which they have close working relationships might also address climate change. This could be the best way to win over Rick Warren, and through him, much of the religious right. I tried the direct route but didn't make it through his Chief of Staff. This indirect approach may fare better.
I talked with a lady from NRDC two months ago and pointed out some of the health harms of synthetic fragrances. Yesterday in my email was an NRDC "This Green Life" bulletin about the health harms of synthetic fragrances. Because of the new focus by a top-notch lobby, and the small number of interested parties on this issue, it's now possible that Toxic Substances Control Act reform will include provisions addressing fragrance labeling problems. This would make life so much easier as an environmental health researcher!
The new pro-environment political alliances I've been imagining might actually come into being. I got an excited response on the phone from World Wildlife Fund climate campaign coordinators about seeking help from AARP and the NRA. Emily is taking my bundle of suggested partnerships and presenting them to the Alliance for Climate Protection at their big meeting today. I don't know how well my ideas will stick, but am excited to have started things moving.
I understand that nothing is guaranteed to come from my efforts, but it is satisfying to feel like I'm doing what I can.
http://www.family.org/sharedassets/correspondence/pdfs/PublicPolicy/Position_Statement-Response_to_the_Global_Warming_Debate.pdf.
it is easy to imagine that environmental reform in this country is on an almost vertically-tilted playing field. Still, I have been making positive changes where I can, and I feel some of these efforts may yet yield fruit.
The Orange County Register is "definitely considering" my letter to the editor explaining the scientific consensus on climate harms. The readership of this right-wing rag has major influence over the national Republican party. I won't sway anyone's political view on cap and trade, but that wasn't the point of this letter. I'm just hoping some high-hitting Republicans will read this and feel inspired to learn more about the science, instead of dismissing it it as "unsettled" or a "UN power grab". If I dampened the "scientific consensus is a liberal lie" drumbeat even for a moment, I will count it as a major personal victory.
Coast Hills Community Church is now "considering" issuing a statement on global warming. I doubt very much that they will go through with it, but they humored me while I was here, and I think they will at least bring it up at their Board of Elders meeting. If Coast Hills takes on climate change, it's likely that other mega-churches in the area (Mariners, Saddleback) with which they have close working relationships might also address climate change. This could be the best way to win over Rick Warren, and through him, much of the religious right. I tried the direct route but didn't make it through his Chief of Staff. This indirect approach may fare better.
I talked with a lady from NRDC two months ago and pointed out some of the health harms of synthetic fragrances. Yesterday in my email was an NRDC "This Green Life" bulletin about the health harms of synthetic fragrances. Because of the new focus by a top-notch lobby, and the small number of interested parties on this issue, it's now possible that Toxic Substances Control Act reform will include provisions addressing fragrance labeling problems. This would make life so much easier as an environmental health researcher!
The new pro-environment political alliances I've been imagining might actually come into being. I got an excited response on the phone from World Wildlife Fund climate campaign coordinators about seeking help from AARP and the NRA. Emily is taking my bundle of suggested partnerships and presenting them to the Alliance for Climate Protection at their big meeting today. I don't know how well my ideas will stick, but am excited to have started things moving.
I understand that nothing is guaranteed to come from my efforts, but it is satisfying to feel like I'm doing what I can.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Writing is hard.
Writing is hard. I used to enjoy it, but lately my writing has become totally linear and I have lost the ability to talk in a waltz. I'm rusty and know it.
So I've started a blog, to get myself back in the habit of thinking slower and articulating better. The classes I've had the last few years all require a pincer-like mentality of dissecting ideas and making ordered lists. While that's the nature of the work I hope to do, I don't think that's the kind of person I want to become: literal, linear, limited to what can be linked or unlinked in a logic chain.
Maybe it's more than just the classes that have done this to me. When was the last time I went on a walk without caring where I wound up? I don't even remember. I go from Point A to Point B, possibly with a few pre-picked stops along the way. I never, ever, ever go out and keep going, making turns as it suits me. Maybe it's because I know my feet will get tired and I don't want to be stuck someplace awful with no one to come pick me up. But in writing or thinking, that's perfectly fine. You can start one place and wind up somewhere you didn't map out ahead of time.
And what about life? Before graduating college I had figured out (and even gotten a tentative offer on) my ideal post-doc. New developments make me think that's not actually the direction I want to go, but I had mapped out my training completely in my mind and set things moving in that direction. That's almost ten years of my life. Completely planned out. And not even the correct ten years - I've since changed my mind on what I wanted to do! But I felt compelled to figure it out for myself and to have a plan I could fall back on.
I did the same thing for college. Freshman year I would make a new four-year plan every other week, saying "this is how I will become an Art Historian" or "this is how I will become an Environmental Engineer." Neither is even close to what I'm doing now. Even when I know I don't know what I'm doing, I like having a picture of what I am going to be like down the line.
And it extends beyond academics. When I was dating Izaak, I started thinking about the relationship in longer terms: should I pay to do a masters at Berkeley so I could stay close by in the Bay Area? Days after I started thinking about planning my next years around him, he dumped me. I was so wrapped up in my hopes that I was oblivious to the writing on the wall. And I haven't learned my lesson. I just caught myself speculating on a romantic future with a (wonderful) guy who it turns out isn't even available.
So this is my January 21 Resolution: I'm going to start living less in my head, and walking less in a line (except in Baltimore where I might get mugged if I tarry), and writing less like a drone. I'm going to start savoring circles and pointless errands. And hopefully this will break me out of a mental habit I don't think is doing me much good.
Cheers
So I've started a blog, to get myself back in the habit of thinking slower and articulating better. The classes I've had the last few years all require a pincer-like mentality of dissecting ideas and making ordered lists. While that's the nature of the work I hope to do, I don't think that's the kind of person I want to become: literal, linear, limited to what can be linked or unlinked in a logic chain.
Maybe it's more than just the classes that have done this to me. When was the last time I went on a walk without caring where I wound up? I don't even remember. I go from Point A to Point B, possibly with a few pre-picked stops along the way. I never, ever, ever go out and keep going, making turns as it suits me. Maybe it's because I know my feet will get tired and I don't want to be stuck someplace awful with no one to come pick me up. But in writing or thinking, that's perfectly fine. You can start one place and wind up somewhere you didn't map out ahead of time.
And what about life? Before graduating college I had figured out (and even gotten a tentative offer on) my ideal post-doc. New developments make me think that's not actually the direction I want to go, but I had mapped out my training completely in my mind and set things moving in that direction. That's almost ten years of my life. Completely planned out. And not even the correct ten years - I've since changed my mind on what I wanted to do! But I felt compelled to figure it out for myself and to have a plan I could fall back on.
I did the same thing for college. Freshman year I would make a new four-year plan every other week, saying "this is how I will become an Art Historian" or "this is how I will become an Environmental Engineer." Neither is even close to what I'm doing now. Even when I know I don't know what I'm doing, I like having a picture of what I am going to be like down the line.
And it extends beyond academics. When I was dating Izaak, I started thinking about the relationship in longer terms: should I pay to do a masters at Berkeley so I could stay close by in the Bay Area? Days after I started thinking about planning my next years around him, he dumped me. I was so wrapped up in my hopes that I was oblivious to the writing on the wall. And I haven't learned my lesson. I just caught myself speculating on a romantic future with a (wonderful) guy who it turns out isn't even available.
So this is my January 21 Resolution: I'm going to start living less in my head, and walking less in a line (except in Baltimore where I might get mugged if I tarry), and writing less like a drone. I'm going to start savoring circles and pointless errands. And hopefully this will break me out of a mental habit I don't think is doing me much good.
Cheers
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